Smells Like Holy Spirit?

If you asked me what kind of laundry detergent my grandparents used, I would not have been able to tell you. Until today. When I opened up a box of Tide powder (which I don't usually buy), it was like I was instantly transported to the basement of their house in California. Mmmmmm...the smell was like a warm hug from the past, bringing forgotten memories and sensory surprises.

Isn't there something about the sense of smell that's just mysterious? To my knowledge we have yet to create a recording device for aromas. There is no camera or tape recorder for odor. Smells are elusive, yet pervasive. They can be blissfully pleasing, or tearfully unpleasant. Most of all I am amazed at the ability of smell to immerse us in a memory of a specific time, place, or person.

So all this has me thinking...I wonder what the throne room smells like?

Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving Proclamation by George Washington is quite amazing. I heartily recommend that you read it carefully. This is what our Founding Fathers had in mind when a national holiday was set aside for giving thanks to Alimghty God. May we all have such reverence and gratitude in our hearts - today and always.

WHEREAS, It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor;

WHEREAS, Both the houses of Congress have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:"

Now, therefore, I do recommend and assign Thursday, the 26th day of November next, to be devoted by the people of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be; that we may then all unite in rendering unto Him our sincere and humble thanks for His kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies and the favorable interpositions of His providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty which we have since enjoyed; for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enable to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and, in general, for all the great and various favors which He has been pleased to confer upon us.

And also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and generally to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.
--George Washington - October 3, 1789

Go and preach the Gospel

BooMama (in Because I'm Wrestling) asked:

"is global mission work a non-negotiable for a believer? Is it something we should do because we're obligated to share the Gospel, or is it something we should do because we have been prompted by the Holy Spirit to serve in a specific part of the world? Is being "salt and light" in our day-to-day lives enough?"

My response:
I believe it is a biblical mandate that all Christians share the gospel, but not necessarily that each individual Christian must travel geographically to do so.

One of the scriptures that you quoted sums it up well..."Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Christ."

We should be always proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom - everyday, wherever we are. In the store, at the daycare, at the bank, to our neighbors, to our friends, in joy, in sorrow, and of course, in our own homes. Yes, this is the essence of "being salt and light". But we (exhorting myself, here, too) need to be reminded that this inherently means that we actually tell people about Jesus and the Kingdom of God. Yes, we proclaim something of God's love in the way we act, how we speak to people, how we treat them...but that alone is not enough.

I do not believe that as moms we are exempt from the biblical call to "go", just because we are primarily focused on raising our own children. YES, they are our focus and first mission field, and we should not neglect our families for the sake of building up a ministry. But if we are paying any attention to the people around us as we go about our day, we will find plenty of opportunities to lift high the name of Jesus.

I think that often we interpret the call to "go and preach the Gospel" as referring exclusively or primarily to international missions because we are uncomfortable with the idea of sharing the Gospel in our own daily context. Walking as a witness for Christ daily requires that we live a life that is radically different from those who do not love God. It will require us to sometimes say things that offend people. Our nation is full of people who hate God and do not believe that they are sinful (or even that “sin” is a valid concept). The very essence of the Gospel is offensive to many. In some ways it is easier to consider the call to “go” as referring to missions trip type situations, because that would require only a limited temporal sacrifice, as opposed to a fundamental change in the way we live.

So, YES - you are mandated to preach the gospel, and to pray that the Lord of the harvest would send laborers to the field. But no, I don't think you are inherently called to travel across the world to do so.

So I can look back at this post and remind myself later...

I recently filled out an application to join the Prayer Room Staff at IHOP (committing to 6 sets (12 hours)/week in the prayer room, and weekly attendance at FCF services). This is how I answered the first question: "Why are you interested in serving as Prayer Room Staff at IHOP-KC?"

I want to join the Prayer Room Staff as a formalization of my commitment to take my place on the wall of intercession here at IHOP-KC. One of the reasons I want to serve in this capacity is to make a public statement about the importance and relevance of non-full-time intercessors. Sometimes in our community where full-time intercessors are the “norm”, those of us who are primarily committed (in a practical/vocational sense) to the marketplace or raising our children can feel like second-class citizens when it comes to spiritual matters. Somehow, our presence in the prayer room tends to feel less necessary, because we are not able to give of ourselves in the same way as those who have been called to be full-time Anna’s in the House. Deep down, we know that our prayers still matter, they still stir the heart of God, they still fill up the bowls…but it’s too easy to feel that we are disqualified to truly carry the weight and burden of intercession. I know that raising my daughter absolutely does not disqualify me from having a vibrant life in God, or from having power upon my prayers to shift things in the heavens. But sometimes when I’ve spent all day changing diapers and scraping food off the floor, it’s hard not to feel like I am eons away from actually taking a vital role in walking out the promises God has laid before our community. Joining the Prayer Room Staff is a way for me to say to other moms or those in the marketplace: You are not disqualified! Pray where you are, give yourself wholly to God, and cultivate a spirit of prayer in the midst of your circumstances. And to myself: My prayers do matter, and my commitment to this House is not insignificant.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Name Change

I finally did it - I changed the name of my blog. Somehow "Sarah's Other Blog" just didn't quite cut it for me anymore. I had never intended for that to be the permanent name for my blog, but just slapped it on there because I had to have some title. I have finally wearied of it enough to make a change. Henceforth, this little bloggy o' mine will be called:

Love Well

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind; Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commands. (Matthew 22:37-39)

The name is both a statment of who I am/want to be; and what I want to do. If someone were to ask me to explain the meaning of life in one sentence, I would answer this: To love well. The ultimate goal and purpose of my life is to grow in my capacity to give and receive love. I do not mean that as simply a trite statement. As I seek to live my life out of that reality, I am learning that loving well is hard. It does not happen on accident. It doesn't happen apart from the movement of God upon my heart. God IS love, so no amount of benevolent pleasantries on my part can actually manufacture love coming out of my heart. I cannot create God by the sheer force of my will. I can only love God because of the grace He has given me, enabling me to say "yes" to Him. I can only love my husband, my children, my neighbor, my enemies, if the love of God is filling me up and making me like Him.

I desire to be a person who is like a well of cool, refreshing water in the midst of a dry land. The only worthwhile water drawn out of the well of my life is the love of God. If I have not His love, I am empty, dry, and have nothing to give. When His love fills me until I overflow, only then do I have something to offer. I am a well of God's love, or I am nothing.

So whaddaya think of the new name?

The Man

While driving on Saturday afternoon, I noticed a van parked in a driveway on the right side of the road. The van's rear driver's side door was ajar, and next to the van was a person lying on the ground. It looked like a man, and he was not moving. I slowed down and tried to assess his condition with a quick glance. I wasn't exactly able to do an extensive visual triage while zooming past at 40-some MPH, so I basically had no more information than I did upon my first glimpse. He was making no signal of distress, but I couldn't imagine why he would be there by choice.

Questions started pouring into my mind - Is he hurt? Is he conscious? Is he alive? How long has he been there? Hasn't anyone else noticed him? Why hasn't anyone stopped to help him?

I looked for a place to turn around, and decided that if he was still on the ground when I got back to him, I was going to stop and help.

The questions kept coming - Maybe someone did stop, and he told them to leave because...I don't know...because he likes lying on the ground on rough asphalt? It sure didn't look like he was working on his car. He must be hurt. Why else would he be there? Could he be some psycho trying to trap someone by looking injured? I don't think so - Why would he do that on such a busy street? I can't just leave him there.

I turned the car around, and saw that the man had not moved. I pulled onto a side-street walked over to the man. As I approached, I could see that he was, indeed, hurt. His head was bleeding. He was frail, and the appearance of his face and body indicated that he had some sort of physical disability. As I came to his side I asked if he was alright, and what I could do to help him. My heart broke for him - lying alone on the ground, unable to get up, bleeding.

I touched his shoulder gently and said "I'm so sorry. You look hurt. How can I help you? What do you need? Do you need me to call an ambulance?" I could not tell how badly he was injured, but he was responsive.

He spoke softly, so I had to ask him to repeat himself. He said "The house. Please get someone from the house."

I asked him if he would be all right if I left him there while I ran to the door. He responded with a weak "Yes."

As I ran to the door, I prayed silent, urgent prayers. I was obviously concerned for this man's physical well-being; but even more than the physical injuries he sustained, I was wounded by the pain and loneliness that I saw as I looked deep into his eyes. I longed to just pray with him and tell him of the hope of the Cross. But in the moment, I knew he was probably more immediately concerned with getting up off the pavement and into the arms of people he knew and loved.

I knocked and called "Hello?"

I heard rustling inside. "Who is it?" (Were they were asking me, or talking to each other while looking out the open window?)

I spoke through the door - "There's a man in your driveway..."

I heard a female voice respond, "Oh, yes, I know," as the door opened to reveal a young woman, maybe in her late teens or early twenties. Her attire was... Middle Eastern? Indian? She appeared to be either Muslim or Hindu, based on her flowing garments and modest headscarf. My ignorance prevented me from a more accurate assessment, and the tension of the situation precluded any extraneous conversation.

They knew he was there in the driveway, but surely they didn't know...

"...he's hurt," I continued. "He fell and hit his head..."

A look of concern clouded her countenance as she began to make her exit through the doorway. "What? Are you kidding me?"

"No, he's bleeding. He needs help. He asked me to come get someone..."

She gasped a little as she bounded out the door and passed me in her haste.

Two young boys followed behind me as quickly we made our way down the path, toward the driveway.

The young woman reached the man's side just before me, and called to the boys, as she knelt beside him. "Get the wheelchair from inside!"

The man raised up a little and began to weep softly as she drew close. They spoke to each other rapidly, in a language I did not understand. As he leaned his torso against her, I could see blood on the ground from his side, as well as his head.

I was searching for words. "I'm so sorry. What can I do? I wish I could do more to help. I'm so sorry."

The young woman said apologetically "No, it's fine. Thank you so much. We'll get my mother. It'll be fine. Thank you."

I stood awkwardly for a moment as the boys rushed back with the wheelchair. The woman said again "It's ok. Thank you." In a tone that felt like she was asking me to leave. Not out of ungratefulness or anger, but...something else. A sense of responsibility for the accident, perhaps? Embarrassment that they didn't know he was lying there injured? In any case, I could feel that they no longer considered my presence helpful. I reluctantly made my way toward my car as they gingerly began to help the man get up.

That is the moment when my heart was torn in two. OH, how I wanted to stay. When I stopped, what I wanted to do the most was to pray for the man. Not just to pray a private prayer between myself and God, but to communicate something of God's love to him in a clear, tangible way. I wanted him to know that God loved him. That is why I turned around my car and came back. Yes, I wanted him up off the ground. But the deepest ache in my heart was that he would feel a touch from the Savior. I wanted to speak the words of Jesus over him. But in that moment, with their hurried voices in the background, I felt like an intrusion into a private moment of family crisis.

Should I have stayed? Should I have asked to pray silently beside them until the man was in the house? Should I have spoken and prayed boldly about the healing power of Jesus, even if such words would have been offensive and jarring in the midst of their pain? These are the questions that I carried as I began to drive away, and that linger still.

Is Your God Too Nice?

For her Tuesday Tossup yesterday, GiBee asked the question "Many Christians worship a friendly, gift-giving God, one who never challenges or requires anything of them. Is this the God we find in the Bible? Do you think the images we have and share of God are too nice? Have we "niced God up" so that others will be more willing to accept Him?" The responses I've read so far have been in pretty unanimous agreement that the "god who never challenges us and requires nothing of us" is NOT the God of the Bible. Here are my thoughts.

I do believe that God is friendly toward his friends (those who obey His commands, Jn. 15:14) and He is a gift-giver above and beyond anything we can ask or imagine. But, as has been stated here already, He is also, unequivocally, a God who challenges us and requires everything of us. (Remember that whole thing about "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me"? Yeah, methinks we have often forgotten about that, and the "loving not our lives, even unto death" part.)

GiBee asks "Have we 'niced up' God so that others will be more willing to accept Him?"

I believe the western church is greatly lacking a biblical understanding of God's judgment, and we (we=including me) need a revelation of the true complexity of God's character so that we walk in the fear of the Lord. Often, we treat God like He's an embarassing uncle. One that you know loves you deeply, but you don't really want to introduce your friends to him because he's not so good with "people skills". You know -the one who says things that we think are inappropriate because his opinion is so strong. We try to shove Him off in a corner so that He doesn't have a chance to say or do anything that might embarrass us, or offend our friends. If we do invite our friends over while he's visiting, we try to stick really close to the conversation so that we can quickly try to justify what he's saying when he starts offending people.

We think that we are kinder and gentler than God - as though we think that people are responsive to warm, fuzzy, easy Christianity - so we try to cover up the parts of His Word that seem too mean, too demanding, or just simply unreasonable. This is not only unbiblical, but it is also ineffective for truly making disciples of Christ. If this is what we are doing, it is counterproductive. People do not want to follow a God who is unjust. If God has no wrath against sin, if he is not grieved by the rampant wickedness in the world, then how can we trust Him? Although God's hatred of sin is offensive to those who desire to remain in their sin, it is life and freedom to those who put their trust in Him and walk in the grace He gives so that we are no longer enslaved to sin. People who do not walk with God are just as offended by the idea of a God who does not care about pain and suffering as they are by the accusation that they are wicked and unable to atone for their own sin.

Even knowing this, there are parts of God's character with which we simply don't know what to do. God's justice requires judgment on wickedness, and sometimes this judgment makes us uncomfortable. When was the last time you read an Old Testament passage like the story of Sodom & Gomorrah, or the sons of Korah, and thought to yourself (at least subconsciously) "I'm so glad that's not the God we serve anymore. I'm glad God doesn't deal with us so harshly." Well, guess what? The God of the Old Testament is the same God who we serve today!

By his mercy and longsuffering, we stand by grace through faith before His throne, because of the shed blood of Christ. But this very same God who loves us and accepts us as blameless because of the cross still has a controversy with the wickedness that rages in the earth. When the world is shaken prior to Jesus' second coming, we will see His judgment manifest on the earth in a way like it never has before. Are we ready? NO.

He will return as a righteous Bridegroom, King, and Judge, to set His King (Jesus) on the throne, decimating the wicked kings of the earth who have declared that they have no need of God. He will gather His beloved ones to Himself (those who have walked according to His ways and who loved His appearing) and He will give them the crown of righteousness and reward them according to their works. But to those who denied Him, those who lived lives of self-absorbed, sinful living, given over to the lusts of the flesh and idolatrous spirituality, to those He will give eternal fire and torment.

None of this negates the amazing, bountiful mercy of God. God desires to give mercy, even in the midst of judgment. We often think that we are comfortable with the mercy of God. But if we preach a "gospel" that does not contain a biblical understanding of God's judgment, then we are not truly preaching the Good News of God's mercy, either. Understanding the depth of God's mercy requires that we understand the depth of our sin, the height of God's holiness, and the lengths to which He went to bring us near to Himself. This mercy is available to all who would come to Him to receive it, and it does not run out, nor is it His "plan B" for when we blow it. I want to write more on that, so maybe my next post will focus on the mercy of God. Stay tuned...

A comment worth reading (I hope)

I was planning to write something else here tonight (I mean, this morning, 'cause it's now 3am darnit) but I just used up all my allotted blogging time (and then some) leaving a comment over at kpjara's, on a post that is a week old. I had been thinking about the post ever since I read it, and I finally just made myself write the comment that had been stewing in my brain all week. I decided to share it here as well.

When you were discussing bearing fruit, you said "He wants me to get off my butt, recognize His purpose, and GO FULFILL IT!" I don't want to totally dissect that comment, so please forgive me if I am off-base with my understanding of your thinking. That statement sounded to me like primarily an exhortation to do the work of the kingdom in external ministry, and that understanding of the text is what I wanted to address. It's not wrong to look at this passage as a call to participate in practical ministry (that's probably the most common way that I hear the text preached). But, I don't believe that it really does justice to the context and full heart of the passage.

Now don't get me wrong – God is thrilled to have you on His team, and I think He does want your life to bring forth fruit of leading the lost to the Lord, ministering to the needy, etc. That being said, I think we do ourselves a disservice if a call to external service is all we take away from this exhortation.

I know (as I believe you also know) that the Lord has something more intimate in store for you than simply putting you to work in His kingdom. He desires to capture the affections of your heart and draw you into an intimate relationship with Him. One where your entire being is given over to Him in such a way that your life begins to look like His - not because you have beaten yourself into submission, but because you have found a lover who is better than any other, and His ways have captured your heart. In other words, that you would be filled with the Spirit of God, living a life displays the fruits of the Spirit in abundance.

It is the internal fruit of your heart that I believe is the heart of this passage. You were made to love God, and be loved by Him. This is both His primary purpose for your life, and His primary method of transforming you into His image.

On Responding in Meekness with Thankful Hearts

I started writing a comment over at Susanne's post "A Matter of Perspective", but it was getting pretty long, so I thought it was more appropriate as a post of its own. Read her post first for the context of my thoughts.

Isn't it ironic how we often feel that as Christians we are "entitled" to material comforts, but we don't want to embrace the suffering and testing that the scriptures directly tell us to expect?

We are told "Do not be surprised if the world hates you." (1 Jn. 3:13, see also 1 Peter 4:12-19), yet we are surprised, and easily offended, and we get all bent out of shape when we are mistreated. We react strongly even when someone just cuts in front of us on the highway, or shortchanges us at the store, or overcharges us for services rendered.

These minor, random offenses are not even close to the kind of persecution for which the Bible tells us to be prepared. Regardless of whether we personally experience that kind of direct assault against us because of our faith, we are called to live lives of meekness, humility, and love even when faced with hatred. We should live our lives in such a way that we can look in the face of our accuser (even our exocutioner) and say in true love "Father, forgive them." If such an accuser never comes against us, Praise be to God. But if he does come, how can we be prepared to respond in the love of Christ?

Do I respond in bitterness and indignation at today's minor annoyance, but expect to be filled with humility, meekness, and longsuffering when it "Really Matters"? If so, I am deceived. I cooperate with the Holy Spirit's work in me by responding in obedience. If I have strengthened through practice the propensity of my flesh to respond in anger, then anger and resentment will fester and grow within me. The next time I am provoked, that is what will come out.

But if I seek to go low and let the Lord work humility within me now (by practicing walking in humility, meekness, forgiveness, thankfulness), then when greater offenses come, I will have the way of Christ established in my heart in preparation for that day.

Responding in meekness, with a thankful heart in the midst of all circumstances, is not only important to my present state of mind, but also for establishing a habit of obedience that will affect my future responses as well.

I Say To You...Watch!

This morning the message at my church was titled "Understanding What Is Happening In The Middle East". The scripture was Zechariah 12-14, and it was an awesome message summing up some critical themes for understanding what God's Word says about Israel, the End Times, and the plan of God for the end of this Age and the transition to the Millenial Reign of Christ.

Much of the Western Church has long ignored this topic, but we can no longer afford to do so. If we desire to understand the heart of God toward humanity, we must receive a revelation from the Word about God's plan for the future. God's ultimate goal in the events which unfold on the earth is to fill the earth with voluntary lovers of Jesus. This seems like a very logical goal. But without an understanding of the scriptures, even believers who are passionately in love with Christ now may have a hard time understanding the events that God uses to lead the whole earth back to God when they begin to unfold.

You may ask - Why would this be confusing to a believer if they love Jesus? Hint: His plan involves A LOT of horrific things happening, and many, many people dying. (One-Half of the world population to be exact.) If we do not understand his purposes, we will easily be offended by His means.

If you are interested in learning more about these topics, I encourage you to watch the webcast of tonight's service. You can access it by clicking here. The web stream starts tonight at 6pm, and the message starts sometime between 6:30-7:00. Also, the notes are available by clicking here.

You may also want to check out one of these resources:




Your People Shall By My People (great book about Israel)


I will have more to say about Israel, the End Times, and the Lord's return in future posts, but I just wanted to put up a quick post to point you toward these resources.

Please prayerfully seek the Lord about this - ask the Lord to give you a revelation of His end-time plan through His Word, and then read the Word to see what he has to say. A great place to start is Matthew 24. The books of Revelation, Daniel, Ezekiel, Zechariah (chapters 12-14 are where we focused this morning), and Isaiah are also great places to dig deeper.

The Skinny on Body Image

Speaking of teen conversations that proved my lack of coolness: A couple nights ago the girls were discussing the attack of American culture against their self-image, and they cited Hollister as an example. Being that I am completely out of touch with what is cool (hip? phat? What do teenagers say nowadays anyway?) I had to interrupt the conversation to ask "Who or what is this Hollister of whom you speak?"

Apparently Hollister is a clothing company whose sizes run extremely small, resulting in hordes of regularly-sized teenage girls feeling like they are being told: "You are too fat, and therefore uncool. We wouldn't let you wear our clothes even if you were willing to pay our exorbitant prices. We are for skinny, cool people only, so take your money and find somewhere else to shop, loser."

Maybe those aren't the exact words they used, but it's basically the sentiment they expressed. They felt like the standard to which they were being held in terms of body image was that of a waif. They said that they felt like the company doesn't want "bigger people" to be able to wear their clothes. Not being able to fit in the largest pair of jeans in the store made them feel unwanted, like they weren't good enough and something was wrong with them.

These girls are healthy and beautiful. They are not overweight (not that it would be ok to make them feel bad about it even if they were.) They should NOT be made to feel that they are somehow falling short, or not good enough, or that something is wrong with them, just because they are not a size 2.

Two of the girls specifically expressed a history of struggling with eating disorders directly precipitated by their low feeling of self-worth. One of the girls said that her dad used to chide her for eating too much, and warned her from an early age not to "get fat" because it would make life harder for her in the long run. Yeeeah, and you telling your daughter that "being skinny makes life easier" is really going to help things run smoothly for her in the body-image department? Not so much. (Sorry, I'm a little fired up.)

I am grieved by the pressure these girls are under, the images and messages they are surrounded by that say "You must be skinny, you must be pretty, you must strive to become attractive to guys." It's not just the issue of weight/thinness that is the problem - the whole realm of striving after physical beauty is just out of control. I'm not saying that we need to be walking around in burkhas so that we don't get caught up in our looks. It's not just about "accepting our bodies" or being comfortable in our own skin.

What grieves me the most about the situation is not just the expectations and attitudes that the culture is feeding to these beautiful girls. That alone is awful, but what do we expect from the unsanctified world, which has given itself over to the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy? We are fooling ourselves if we think that we can solve this problem by reasoning with its perpetuators (or its victims).

What weighs so heavily on my heart is that these girls were not just talking about not feeling pretty. They were talking about not feeling valuable.

This is a spiritual issue. It gets down to the very core of who we believe ourselves to be. I believe God has given us a desire for beauty - a longing to behold beauty, and to be beautiful. This is a godly desire, but one that is so often defined and 'fulfilled' unrighteously. We, as the church in America, are failing our youth if they are not anchored in the hope of their value and worth in Christ. Their hearts (and our hearts) need to be aligned rightly with the Word of God, and what He says about beauty. If they do not know that they are beautiful to God, and desired by Him, then we are abandoning them to the transient affections of this world.

It's not ultimately about whether my body looks the way I want. It's about whether I am someone who possesses beauty. It's not really about whether my skin is clear and smooth. It's about whether I am worth anything. It's not really about whether I can attract the attention of the opposite sex. It's about whether anyone who matters to me sees me as worthy of affection.

Lest any of you wonder: You are beautiful, you are desired, and you are worth it. God poured out the most extravagant display of affection in the world, when he poured out himself on our behalf on the cross. He did it all for love - because He loves you, and He desires your love in return. There is no greater consolation in life than knowing that the God of Creation is passionately in love with me. His heart is overwhelmed with love by even the slightest inclination of my heart towards Him.

If the truth of the love of God is alive in our hearts, only then an we understand the true beauty we possess.

You have ravished my heart with one look of your eye (Song of Solomon 4:9)

You are altogether beautiful, my darling. (Song of Solomon 4:7a)

The King greatly desires your beauty (Psalm 45:11)

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing; But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Prov. 31:30)

As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion. (Proverbs 11:22)

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Christina, Part 1

Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.

Meet Christina. She is my one of my bestestest friends in the whole wide world.

Lovely Miss Christina and I met 8 years ago. We got thrown together when we both joined a women's bible study on our college campus. I was newly saved, and highly un-sanctified. Christina had little patience for my tales of woe regarding the trivial, worldly concerns with which I was consumed at the time. Christina was bubbly and energetic in her faith. I found her to be infuriatingly cheerful and a little too eager to please.

Needless to say, it was not love at first sight.

Don't get me wrong, we never had any intent of malice toward one another. We saw each other as sisters in Christ and did our best to encourage and edify one another. But in the midst of that, it was also pretty clear that we often rubbed each other the wrong way. The. Wrong. Way.

I talked too much. About unimportant things. And cared too much about boys.

Christina was too loud. She sang to herself. And talked to herself. Loudly. In Public.

Despite our differences, we continued to try our hand at building a friendship. The road was bumpy, with the occasional head-on-collision.

Case in point: Christina was understandably frustrated by what appeared to be my utter disregard for the virtue of modesty during the early months of our accidental companionship friendship. Prior to encountering the Lord during the middle of my freshman year of college, I was rather preoccupied with garnering and keeping the attention and affections of the male gender. I was not promiscuous, but I liked to feel wanted. Despite my desire for subtlety, certain pieces in my wardrobe reflected that desire a leeeeeeetle too much. So, one day as we were leaving to go to dinner, Christina looked at my outfit and said “You look trashy – I’m not going to dinner with you dressed like that!”

Oh, no, wait. That’s not what she said.

She was genuinely appalled at my choice of attire, but showing appropriate restraint she probably said gently, “Are you sure that shirt isn’t too tight/too revealing/too (enter immodest adjective here)?” I tried not to be offended, but my worldly mind wanted to scream – “EXCUSE ME? You dare to question my judgment?” After a moment of internal debate, I knew that she was completely right. I acquiesced and changed my clothes before heading to dinner, and a short while later I threw away the offending shirt.

So began the next chapter of our friendship. For some reason, God made us vulnerable to one another. We were aware of each others’ weaknesses and needs, and we didn’t always like what we found in each other, or in ourselves. As I spoke, I could practically feel her picking up on what was happening under the surface my heart, and as we spent time together, I got pretty good at reading her heart too. The amazing part was this: Although we were uncomfortable when the capacity for sinfulness found lurking in our hearts was revealed, the Lord was teaching us to speak the Truth in Love, and receive godly correction in humility. We cared for one another deeply, even when we were annoyed up to our eyebrows.

Soon, we were unfolding the deep places of our hearts to each other, and finding not only weakness and need therein, but also beauty, joy, and love. Somehow, through the rocky beginnings of our friendship, we had each become lodged deep within the others’ heart. We were bound in a friendship like none other I had known.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Prov. 27:17

Christina is now serving our country as an officer in the U.S. Army. She is stationed in Iraq. Please see Part Two>>>> to join me in prayer for her.

Meme Me

My friend LammyAnn tagged me with my first meme ever. She asked three questions (kinda random, but I like 'em) so here's my answers:

1. Do you think anyone with a desire to create is an artist of sorts?

There is the desire within all of us to create. In some way, deep down inside, everyone wants to create something beautiful, meaningful, and significant. For some, that desire may be expressed through a tangible medium like paint, clay, music, or words. Others work to craft and mold their relationships into works of art, caring for the people around them with tenderness and wonder. There are as many expressions of this desire as there are people on the earth. I believe that this is for one reason - because we are made in the image of THE Create-or. As God has crafted and molded each one of us out of His desire, so we too have desire residing within each of us that longs to create something beautiful, something that will linger in our wake.
So, does this common desire make every one of us an artist? No. I believe that we all have the capacity for art if we dig deep enough into our soul, but this capacity is not always realized. According to Visual Thesaurus an artist is "a person whose creative work shows sensitivity and imagination". When our desire is fleshed out in creative, sensitive, imaginative work - any type of work (physical, intellectual, relational, whatever) - that is when we become an artist.

2. What frightens you the most about getting older?

The capacity for sin within my heart. Wrinkles. Boys getting crushes on my little Abigail. Aaron dying before me. My parents dying. Seeing people that I know die without finding salvation in Christ, especially if I feel like I neglected to share the Truth in love with them at every opportunity. Not in that order! =)

3. When was the first time you travelled by air? Where did you go?

My uncle Tom (who has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer - please pray for him.) was a pilot who probably took us on a short flight in a little plane at some point in time. But I don't really remember that, so I'll tell you about my first real flight.

When I was a freshman in high school I qualified to compete at the National FBLA conference. The conference was in Anaheim, CA. The week before the conference I was on a mission trip in Tijuana, Mexico building houses for Habitat for Humanity with my church youth group. On our way back from Mexico, the church van dropped me off at the Anaheim Hilton and I spent the next week there for the conference. (Nothing like going from the slums of Tijuana to the lobby of the Hilton for a reality check about American affluence and apathy toward the poor. Unfortunately, I was too excited about the sweeeeet swimming pool to fully appreciate the lesson at the time.) So, anyway, to get back home after the conference, I took a commercial flight, by myself. From LA to Portland (Oregon). The next flight I remember taking was also by myself, from Oregon to Iowa. I got lost and almost missed my connection in the Minneapolis airport. Not that you asked or anything, I'm just reminiscing here...

**Edited to add: I forgot to tag anyone, so here goes...I'm tagging kpjara (who I met at the KC Bloggers luncheon and is sometimes mistaken for the Great Kazoo, I mean Gazoo) and her sister - do you use your real name online? - (who I also met at the lunch, and who has an awesome testimony of being healed of terminal cancer. Read about it here and here.) Play along if you want to! **

You Say It's Your Birthday?

Saturday can be summed up in just a few words: I slept. I puked. I slept more. Baby puke. In my bed. GROSS! Thank you Jesus for my wonderful husband. That's all I have to say about that.
Sunday we were all feeling much better. A little rough around the edges, but well enough to go feed the fish at the lake. (Read all about it over at Abigail's blog.)
Tonight, I got my best birthday present at the Sunday evening FCF service. Derek Loux was sharing about how we can be prepared to stand in the Day of the Lord's return. When turmoil breaks out upon the earth and the majority of humanity considers Christianity dangerous, a threat, an enemy of the state; when martyrdom is not just something that happens in China, or Indonesia, or Iran, or "somewhere else"; when saying "Yes" to Jesus may mean literally giving up our life; How will we stand as the great and terrible Day approaches? I was gripped by the Lord with renewed sobriety about the hour in which we live. I was humbled and brought to tears knowing that Abigail's preparation for the Lord's appearing will be determined in large part by how Aaron and I raise her now. Will she be rooted in the Word? Will she have a life of prayer? Will she be unoffended toward God and love Him through the worst this world has to offer? Nothing makes me more resolute in my determination to seek Him wholeheartedly than the knowledge that my diligence to pursue Him is vital for my children's future. I suppose some would see it as a weakness, that I need this external motivation to prod me to run after God. But I, I see it as a gift. He has given me the gift of renewed passion, a heart stirred with longing for my Beloved. I see my weakness, my utter frailty apart from Him. And I am once again set in place, with my eyes fixed upon Him, knowing that He is my hope and my salvation. He is the One for whom my heart yearns. And that, my friends, is a gift.

Blameless? Who, me?

I'm chewing on this today, care to join me?

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen."
Jude v. 24-25

Oh Lord, it is You who are able to keep me from stumbling . Not my own strength or desire, nor any system of accountability, but YOU Lord. Your Spirit within me, Your voice behind me, Your Word before me. These promises are what I cling to when the ground is shifting beneath my feet. Or rather, these are the things that lay hold of me and tarry within my soul when I begin to stray from the narrow path.
Oh, God, who am I, that I should approach the Eternal Flame? I, who was dead, dead, dead. How can I gaze into the Infinite Beauty of Holiness? But you gave me life, life, life and have brought me near. Am I really here? Is my dwelling place with the Most High God? Oh, Lord, how I long to stand in the presence of your glory. I want to be counted worthy. It is only by Your blood that I stand blameless. Washed clean and clothed with Christ.
Oh, to be with you. This is what I'm longing for. For what else could my soul yearn? There is none like you. None other so Holy, none other so Kind. None other is Worthy. Now and Forever. AMEN!