35 week update

Fundal Height: 44!
Babies positions: Baby A breech, Baby B transverse. Baby A could still turn head-down, but considering that she's been breech since at least 28 weeks and they are getting really cramped in there, the midwife said it's not really likely at this point. I have another ultrasound next week to check their growth, so we'll see if she moves at all by then.
Delivery plans: I am being scheduled for a c-section around 38 weeks (near Aug 14), due to the babies' positions. I will post when I have a date and time confirmed. If Baby A turns head-down before then, we will cancel that plan and go for a natural delivery.
Misc: My feet/ankles are still huge. They will likely stay that way until delivery. It's pretty bad when I can barely even get my feet into my flip flops! BUT, I do have a nice, pretty pedicure now! Aaron took Abigail to the Zoo on Saturday, and I got the day off. I used some birthday money to get a pedicure, get my haircut, and get a massage. I also took care of some appointments at the hospital and just generally enjoyed having the day all to myself. Possibly for the last time in...um...EVER?

Oh, I also got the crib all ready to go. We plan on having the twins in our room at first, but it feels nice to have the crib all set (and maybe we'll use it for naps sometimes). We still have a TON of prep to do before I'll feel "ready" for the babies, but I'm trying not to worry about it too much. It's just hard to get anything accomplished nowadays, so I feel a little overwhelmed by my to-do list sometimes. BUT, #1 on my "to-do" list is stay healthy and keep these babies cooking until they're good and ready to come out, so I make sure to not overdo it, and I don't feel bad about taking naps and being generally unproductive most of the time.

Twin info I forgot to mention

For those of you who like details...

The twins are each in their own amniotic sac, and they each have their own placenta. This means that it is more likely that they are fraternal twins (not identical). However, it is still possible that the twins could be identical. If we find out that Baby B is a boy, then they are fraternal, but if Baby B is a girl, they could be either.

One of the first questions that people have been asking is whether twins run in our family. As far as we know, there is only one set of twins within the generations of our family that are living today (Aaron's Dad's cousins - Pam and Penny). Apparently, each of us also has a great-grandmother who had a twin pregnancy, but neither one carried the twins to term. An increased likelihood for fraternal twins is genetically linked to the mother's history...so there is only one instance of a twin conception that we know of that is relevant to my genes - and it is a number of generations back. (From what I've read so far, it sounds like genetics are not thought to influence the likelihood of identical twins.)

Surprise, Surprise!

WE'RE HAVING TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, you read that right. We found out during our sonogram today that there's not just "a" baby in there, but there are TWO babies! Twins!

Backstory (Some Cool History): Prior to my pregnancy with Abigail, we lost a baby to miscarriage (in 2004). Shortly after that time, Aaron and I both thought "It would be cool to have twins." So, we prayed and asked the Lord for twins. Clearly the Lord has answered that prayer. It was a little delayed from what we were thinking, and definitely came as a surprise, but it is like a kiss from God! He heard the cry of our hearts, and He answered with a double blessing.

Story (How We Got the News): Today was my first prenatal appointment. I am 17 weeks pregnant, so that's quite late to be starting prenatal care. We went in for a sonogram right away. (Aaron was there for that part of the appointment). The tech squirted the cold gel on my belly and barely even started to take a look at things. She probably had moved the wand around for about two seconds when she stopped, took a breath, and asked "Have you had any care yet for this pregnancy?" I responded - "No, this is my first appointment" - and in the mere seconds that it took for me to say that and for her to she speak again, I was thinking "Oh, Lord! She already saw something that she's concerned about? What on earth could be so bad that she would see it within two seconds??" Thankfully, she didn't wait to respond "Well. It's twins." Aaron and I both said something exclamatory, smiled, looked at each other, and grinned goofy grins. We kept saying "Oh my gosh, we're having twins!" while alternating between joy and shock.

Stats (The Basic Info): Both babies are looking healthy and are normal size. Probably about half a pound each. They are both measuring just a little bit ahead of their gestational age...just like Abigail did throughout most of my pregnancy with her. "Baby A" is a girl. "Baby B" appeared to be a girl as well, but it was less clear. We're going to wait for the next ultrasound and hope we get a better view before calling it for sure. My due date is August 28, but it's very rare for twins to go full term. The midwives would like to see me get to at least 34-36 weeks, so basically anytime after mid-July is the "safe zone" for delivery, so to speak.

Thoughts (Our Reaction): We were thrilled and shocked, all in a moment. Our overwhelming reaction is joy. We are so blessed, so excited. We're still thrilled, and still definitely trying to grasp the reality of it all. We are just starting to think about all that this means for our family. Our planning process will look very different that we thought it would. The arrival of two babies at once has some significant ramifications on the practical realm. And on the heart!

Prayers, please!: We would appreciate your prayers as the pregnancy continues. Of course, our first and foremost request is that both babies be born healthy, with no complications. I will share other specific requests as time goes on...but at this point, general "health" is pretty much what we want. In the practical realm, we will be needing to find a larger vehicle. We currently drive a little Hyundai Accent, which we love. But there is absolutely no way that we could fit three car seats in the back. We are praying that the Lord will provide the right vehicle, at the right time.

So, that's the big news 'round here! Thanks for celebrating with us!

I will try to find a way to post some ultrasound pictures soon.

Precious

Things that made me smile in the past week...

Abigail spontaneously running up and giving me big kisses on both cheeks.

Singing as a sub on two sets in the prayer room.

Thinking that maybe I felt the baby moving when I poked my belly.

The beautiful orchid that is blooming in my kitchen.

Weather that involved sunshine, and temperatures like this:

Driving a Bobcat for the first time. (I received only brief operating instructions over the phone, but managed to re-park the thing without hurting anything or anyone. Did I mention that I was wearing flip-flops? I'm sure that's a safety violation of some kind.)

Seeing the most beautiful rainbow while driving to the store. It was a supernumerary rainbow, with the whole arc visible, along with a vibrant secondary rainbow. I couldn't get a picture that really captured its beauty, but it was stunning.



Showing Abigail her first rainbow, and teaching her that a rainbow is a sign of God's promise and faithfulness; then hearing her say rainbow (maimbo) over and over for the next hour or so.

Family hugs and spending time with Aaron when he comes home from work.

Giving Abigail's head lots of kisses while she snuggled in my lap before her nap.

Abigail reaching up after those kisses and saying "pretty" while pointing to my cheek. She doesn't really know how to say "I love you" very well yet, but calling me "pretty" is close enough to melt my heart.

Levi Matthew, and thoughts on babies and fertility

Our dear, dear friends Matt and Song had their first baby - a boy - on Sunday afternoon. Aaron and I met Matt when we were attending PLU. Since that time, we got married, moved to Kansas City, and had a baby. Then Matt and Song got married, moved to Kansas City, and now have a baby. It has been such a joy having dear friends from "home" here with us, walking a similar path and sharing in the journey. We are all far away from "home" and our families. We have shared history (oh, the history!) - with Matt in particular. Back in the day, Aaron and I led a young adults group that met in our home, and Matt was part of our "leadership team". (That sounds way too formal, but I don't know what else to call it.) His heart was so aligned with ours when it came to the passions of our lives - intimacy with God, prayer, and growing in the Word. He also had (and still has) a great sense of humor. When we announced that we were pregnant with Abigail, Matt sent us a prediction of what he thought our baby would look like. Recognize that face over there on the right? That would be Aaron, plastered onto a baby's body. The first time I saw that, I laughed so hard I cried




When we heard that Matt and Song were expecting a baby boy, I knew I needed to reciprocate the favor of Matt's photographic prediction. My creation is to the left.
I am happy to report that Levi Matthew was born Sept. 10, at 4:07pm, and my prediction did him no justice. He weighed in at 8lbs. 0oz., 21.5 inches (almost the exact same as Abigail). He is healthy (although he does have a little bit of jaundice. Pray that it is resolved quickly). Dark hair, dimples, long fingers, and absolutely A.DOR.A.BLE.

In fact, he sounds an awful lot like the description of Abigail at a few days old. We are sure they will be fast friends, as soon as he is old enough to defend himself when Abigail gets a little overzealous with her affection. We got to go visit him tonight, and Abigail was quite intrigued by this tiny, 2-day-old human. We didn't get a picture of it, but she kept trying to give him kisses. Abigail kisses involve a wide open mouth and lots of slobber, so needless to say, we did NOT let her kiss the newborn!

If you could read my thoughts in the picture above, I would be saying "Oh, I want another baby! Please, God, please, please, please. I'm ready. Let's go!" That's not quite a direct quote, but the yearning is definitely there. Do you know what happens when a woman who wants a baby holds a newborn? Oh, the longing!

(Warning: If you are male, or don't like reading about women discussing their fertility, stop reading here. You're likely to be uncomfortable, or just bored out of your mind.) I am one of those "lucky" women who doesn't seem to ovulate while nursing. At least, most of my friends say I'm "lucky" when I mention that I haven't had a period in over 2 years. I must admit, there is an element of convenience that I'm getting used to. But when you're ready for a baby, and your body shows NO SIGNS of being in baby-making mode, it can be a little disconcerting.

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed Abigail for at least a year, and I wanted to take my time weaning her. I guess I never thought about the fact that maybe I would want to get pregnant again before we finished that process, and that nursing could interfere with that. It seems even most women who exclusively breastfeed their babies still get on a regular cycle a few months after birth. Not so for me. I am operating on the assumption that it is the nursing that is preventing ovulation; primarily because I know it's possible, and because I don't really want to think about the other possibility - that my body just isn't operating the way it's supposed to.

Ultimately, we are fully trusting in God. We know He is the best leader over our lives, and we trust Him to guide us. He will release a child to us in His time. But I'd like that time to be sooner, rather than later, pretty please?

So for now our plan of action is to wean Abigail as soon as possible, while keeping with my "slow enough to not traumatize Mommy" pace. I'm such a softie. When she looks at me with that sad face and signs "Milk, milk, milk" I just melt. We're knocking out one feeding at a time because that's all I can handle! We only have the nighttime feeding left, and that's going to be a tough one to stop. We'll probably start working on it in the next few days/weeks. This was her second full week without her morning feeding, and she's still having a hard time with that.

So - my request: If any of you have any brilliant weaning tips to share with me, please do tell. What worked for you? What didn't?

Look At Me! I'm a Human Pincushion!

Abigail had a well-baby checkup and immunizations today. It was a little rough. She missed her 12 month immunizations (thanks to Yours Truly) - so today we had to do some catch-up. She had 6 (yes, six!) shots AND she had blood drawn for testing. The poor girl really was getting poked like a pincushion.

The sucker that she got in the lab helped her to forget about the pain. She really hasn't had much candy yet, and never a sucker, so this was quite the treat. As we walked to the car, I realized that I didn't want her alone in the back seat with the sucker. (Can you say choking hazard?) I pondered how to take the sucker away with as little trauma as possible, but I had no ideas.

Fortunately, when I put her in the carseat she became quite enamored by her band-aids, which were now in plain view and easily accessible. She actually dropped the sucker to investigate.



I snatched up the sucker and attempted to play it cool, but Abigail was on to my sly moves. She cried for a bit, but didn't get the sucker back until later in the day. She calmed down after not too long, and was soon zonked out in the back seat. She napped for a couple hours after we got home. A day like that is enough to tire a girl out!




Oh, for those who like details: Abigail is now 33 inches tall (98th %ile), and weighs 26lbs (84th %ile). Everything else checked out well.

The doctor made no mention of the heart murmur she heard at our last visit, nor did she say/ask anything about the testing she sent us to subsequently. She's not a bad doctor, but she hasn't exactly earned any brownie points with me, either. I can only remember one appointment when she actually asked "Do you have any questions?" Anyone in the KC Metro area know of a good pediatrician?

The Skinny on Body Image

Speaking of teen conversations that proved my lack of coolness: A couple nights ago the girls were discussing the attack of American culture against their self-image, and they cited Hollister as an example. Being that I am completely out of touch with what is cool (hip? phat? What do teenagers say nowadays anyway?) I had to interrupt the conversation to ask "Who or what is this Hollister of whom you speak?"

Apparently Hollister is a clothing company whose sizes run extremely small, resulting in hordes of regularly-sized teenage girls feeling like they are being told: "You are too fat, and therefore uncool. We wouldn't let you wear our clothes even if you were willing to pay our exorbitant prices. We are for skinny, cool people only, so take your money and find somewhere else to shop, loser."

Maybe those aren't the exact words they used, but it's basically the sentiment they expressed. They felt like the standard to which they were being held in terms of body image was that of a waif. They said that they felt like the company doesn't want "bigger people" to be able to wear their clothes. Not being able to fit in the largest pair of jeans in the store made them feel unwanted, like they weren't good enough and something was wrong with them.

These girls are healthy and beautiful. They are not overweight (not that it would be ok to make them feel bad about it even if they were.) They should NOT be made to feel that they are somehow falling short, or not good enough, or that something is wrong with them, just because they are not a size 2.

Two of the girls specifically expressed a history of struggling with eating disorders directly precipitated by their low feeling of self-worth. One of the girls said that her dad used to chide her for eating too much, and warned her from an early age not to "get fat" because it would make life harder for her in the long run. Yeeeah, and you telling your daughter that "being skinny makes life easier" is really going to help things run smoothly for her in the body-image department? Not so much. (Sorry, I'm a little fired up.)

I am grieved by the pressure these girls are under, the images and messages they are surrounded by that say "You must be skinny, you must be pretty, you must strive to become attractive to guys." It's not just the issue of weight/thinness that is the problem - the whole realm of striving after physical beauty is just out of control. I'm not saying that we need to be walking around in burkhas so that we don't get caught up in our looks. It's not just about "accepting our bodies" or being comfortable in our own skin.

What grieves me the most about the situation is not just the expectations and attitudes that the culture is feeding to these beautiful girls. That alone is awful, but what do we expect from the unsanctified world, which has given itself over to the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy? We are fooling ourselves if we think that we can solve this problem by reasoning with its perpetuators (or its victims).

What weighs so heavily on my heart is that these girls were not just talking about not feeling pretty. They were talking about not feeling valuable.

This is a spiritual issue. It gets down to the very core of who we believe ourselves to be. I believe God has given us a desire for beauty - a longing to behold beauty, and to be beautiful. This is a godly desire, but one that is so often defined and 'fulfilled' unrighteously. We, as the church in America, are failing our youth if they are not anchored in the hope of their value and worth in Christ. Their hearts (and our hearts) need to be aligned rightly with the Word of God, and what He says about beauty. If they do not know that they are beautiful to God, and desired by Him, then we are abandoning them to the transient affections of this world.

It's not ultimately about whether my body looks the way I want. It's about whether I am someone who possesses beauty. It's not really about whether my skin is clear and smooth. It's about whether I am worth anything. It's not really about whether I can attract the attention of the opposite sex. It's about whether anyone who matters to me sees me as worthy of affection.

Lest any of you wonder: You are beautiful, you are desired, and you are worth it. God poured out the most extravagant display of affection in the world, when he poured out himself on our behalf on the cross. He did it all for love - because He loves you, and He desires your love in return. There is no greater consolation in life than knowing that the God of Creation is passionately in love with me. His heart is overwhelmed with love by even the slightest inclination of my heart towards Him.

If the truth of the love of God is alive in our hearts, only then an we understand the true beauty we possess.

You have ravished my heart with one look of your eye (Song of Solomon 4:9)

You are altogether beautiful, my darling. (Song of Solomon 4:7a)

The King greatly desires your beauty (Psalm 45:11)

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing; But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Prov. 31:30)

As a ring of gold in a swine's snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion. (Proverbs 11:22)

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Walmart With Toddler, in Pictures

I knew it was going to be a rough day when Abigail got ahold of my shopping list and immediately stuck it into her mouth, tore off a piece, chewed it up, and spit it onto the floor. All this happened in a matter of moments while I grabbed a bag of bagels for the four (yes, 4!) teenage girls that will be staying with us for the next three weeks.
Since when are her arms long enough to grab things out of the cart while she's strapped into her seat?


So, I'm walking by the candy aisle when I start thinking I'm smelling puke. No, wait, that's not quite it, but it's bringing up olfactory memories of having the flu. I literally stop and look all around me, trying to figure out what it is. I pinpoint the scent-reference: It's Pepto-Bismol. But there is none of the pink stuff in the candy aisle. It's really bugging me that I can't figure this out, so I literally walk slowly down the aisle smelling for the culprit. (If anyone was watching me leaning into the shelves to sniff the packages, I'm sure they thought I was nuts.)
Lo and behold, I found the impostor: Wint-o-green Life Savers. I will never be able to eat them again. (Not that I ever did in the first place, but NOW - ugh, queasy just thinking about it.) Don't believe me? Go get some and smell for yourself. I'm tellin' ya Pepto smell = Wint-o-green smell.


Obviously, the shopping list was not the only victim of Abigail's rampant teething tirade. Poor box-o-Eggos got snagged while I was reaching into the freezer for some juice concentrate.


When baby gets fussy, I start acting like the cart is some kind of carnival ride. Wheeeeee! We're driving like a race car! Wheeeeee! Mommy's standing on the bottom rack and rolling with you! Wheeeee! (Yeah, strangers are really starting to look at me now - but at least it keeps Abigail from screaming like a banshee because She. Wants. OUT. NOW! Notice that in this picture there are no hands on the handle of the cart. Abigail is rolling freely down the aisle, with physical control of the cart completely relinquished to the forces of gravity, momentum, and the crazy wheel that won't go straight. This is the height of fun, people. She could cruise like that for hours. Her big smile is so cute, it almost made me forget that shopping with a toddler is work. Almost... But alas, we must go check out. And just when we were having so much fun.


Checking out is pretty much always a nightmare, because Abigail despises being still for more than two seconds at a time. Sitting still is bad enough. But sitting still in a cart that's not moving - torture! Being the genius mother that I am, I decide to let her play with the first item that I scan - give her something to keep her busy while I scan and bag the week's rations, you know?

(Yes, I'm a self-checkout junkie. Nobody packs my groceries the way I like them except for ME. I pack those babies full. Why is it that every time a cashier bags my stuff I end up with, like, 6 bags for 5 products. C'mon people - A plastic bag can hold more than three cans of juice! Anyway, back to the saga...)

So I scan a 64 oz. bottle of juice and set it in the cart next to her. I'm thinking - it's plastic, she can chew on it but can't get it open, it's perfect. Silly Mommy obviously didn't think that one through. Plastic bottles don't break like glass when they hit the floor, but they still bust open. That's about 20-some ounces of Welch's White Grape Cherry juice all over the floor. Oh joy!


We survive the check-out, but Abigail hasn't had enough fun yet. We have to stop and say hello to Barney. I don't feed the monster quarters, I just let her climb up on the seat. She has no idea that this thing moves if you put money in it - she just likes to sit there and turn the steering wheel. If I have anything to say about it, she'll never see Barney in action, and therefore I will never have to hear her beg me for a quarter to ride.


We make it to the car and I'm putting groceries in the trunk when I realize that when the juice-incident took place, I never found the lid for the bottle. Now I have an opened, 2/3-full bottle of juice with a busted spout. But by golly, I bought the juice so I'm taking it home. Improvisation is a required skill for motherhood. I managed to get the juice home without spilling a drop or staining my pants (or should I say, without staining my pants more...there's that nice peanut butter spot on my thigh.) Back home in the driveway, I did manage to spill the juice onto the roof of the car when I set it there to get Abigail out of her carseat. But it was a little spill, and it only dripped onto the seat a couple times.

Tomorrow, we tackle Costco.

For the Want of a Shower

There are three 16-year-old girls sleeping in my living room. They will be here for three weeks. We already have the three adults and one baby in the household. We have one shower. You do the math. (Good thing I usually shower at the gym.)

Speaking of showering at the gym, I would like to publicly acknowledge my immense indebtedness to Miss Karen who runs the "Tot Drop" at our local community center. For a mere $2/day (that's less than a cup o' java, yo'!) I can enjoy up to 2 hours of Mommy time while Abigail tries to steal toys from other children learns valuable social skills. If it wasn't for Abigail's affection for Miss Karen, I don't know if I'd ever get a shower, much less any other time for myself.
As long as Abigail cooperates, I have a pretty good system figured out. While Abigail is playing, I go ride the stationary bike. Why the bike, you ask? I know, I know, the elliptical machine is much better for my knees, and I could get a full-body workout. BUT, if I'm riding the bike I can actually read my Bible and pray during my workout without falling off the machine. Any other time of day, if I try to sit down to read, Abigail tries desperately to grab my Bible from my hands. I mean, I'm glad she loves the Word and all, but she's already ripped out Acts 5&6. I don't really want her to "love" my Bible in such a physically destructive manner, so I tend to keep it out of her arm's reach. The spiritual/physical workout combo is not only practical for the safety of my favorite book, but it also has the catalytic effect of keeping me engaged and consistent. Having my blood pumping from working out helps me to stay alert and really absorb what I'm reading. And, if I am getting really excited about what the Lord is saying to me, I end up getting the workout of a lifetime, because I don't even think about how hard I'm pedaling - I just go for it! Yay for multi-tasking!
So, after my workout, I wander back by the Tot Drop to make sure Abigail is doing ok. (I don't let her see me, of course. If she catches a glimpse of me at that point it's game over. Time to go home.) So long as everything is peachy, then I'm off to the shower. I sometimes even have enough time to do my hair, put on my makeup, and look generally presentable before leaving. Hurray!