Musings, written a month ago

Am I raising Pharisees or Christians? Or What is the point of discipline?

In reading through an old journal, I found the following entry:

“When You present the Israelites with a covenant in which it is impossible for them to fulfill their part, You are not looking for a people who will zealously declare that they are able to do what You have called them to. No, You are looking for a people that know Your heart - fierce and tender both. A people that understand that You have asked them to be holy as You are holy - and it's impossible. Therefore, the only choice is to fall on Your mercy, while recognizing their weakness. "I can't, but I want to!" Lord, only You are holy, and I know that if I try to approach You according to my ability to conform to Your standards, I will be killed - I cannot do it. I cannot simply hope that You will overlook or not see my shortcomings. I must approach You knowing that You will/would/could/should kill me according to a standard of righteous living. And I must trust in Your mercy and grace, that as I approach in humility, knowing full well my weakness, Your loving kindness reaches out toward me.”

God knows we cannot fulfill the requirements of the law in our own strength. So what is the point of the law? Obedience does have many practical, tangible benefits. But obedience is not the purpose of the law.

The law does not change our hearts. It just exposes them. The law exposes our need for grace. (Rom 3:19-20) Disobedience exposes not only our weakness, but also how we respond within the relationship. Upon whose terms is the relationship repaired? Do I think I mend the relationship by conforming my behavior? Or does God mend the relationship by His grace poured out on me?

Faced with my weakness, do I run and hide from the Lord? Do I try to cover my tracks or repair the breach in my heart by renewed vigor? OR do I run to the cross, knowing the Father's love for me has made a way - the Only Way - for me to be restored by grace through faith in Jesus. Do I really believe that His blood is enough?

The discipline of the Lord draws me to Him and transforms me. It’s His kindness that leads me to repentance. (Rom. 2:4)

Does my discipline of my children mirror that? Why do I train them? How do I respond when they fail to obey? Do I treat their disobedience as a rejection of my affection? Am I gentle with them in their immaturity? Do I woo them back into relationship with kindness (never negating the true repercussions of sin)? When they repent and turn their hearts toward me again in openness and love, do I receive them freely? Do I keep my arms open, or do I hold them at arm's length until they've "proven" themselves with changed behavior? Do I hold a grudge? Who repairs the breach? Am I mostly concerned with their behavior, or with their hearts?

Bloggy FYI

New posts can be found at abigailpod.blogspot.com

When I get time to figure out how to combine both of my old blogs onto one new one, I will be posting a new web address. For now, I will probably continue to post only on Abigail's blog.

Introducing Eliana Jean and Joelle Rose

We are thrilled to announce the birth of our twin girls, Eliana Jean and Joelle Rose. They were born at 3:07 and 3:10pm on August 7, 2007, via C-section. Everything went smoothly and mom and babies are all doing well. Eliana (formerly "Baby A") was 5lbs 14oz and 19 inches long. Joelle (formerly "Baby B") was 5lbs 6oz and 19 inches long. Big Sister Abigail is having lots of fun holding the babies and is doing a great job learning how to be a big sister. I will post some of their pictures here, and you can go to our online web album (click here) to see all the photos we have so far.

One last belly picture - 37 weeks

Abigail giving her sisters one last tummy hug before Mommy goes to the hospital for the c-section.

Hobbit feet, minus the hair

Cankles got nothin' on me. I've got bona-fide rolls on my ankles. Nice! I am really looking forward to getting my feet back from the edema-fairy after delivery.

The belly - 36 weeks

I am ginormous! At my 35 week appt, I was measuring 44. I forgot to ask what I measured this week, but it is BIG!

For comparison, here I am at 40 weeks with Abigail:

36 week ultrasound

The girls are looking great. Super crowded in there, but everyone is healthy. They are both weighing in at (approximately) 5lbs 4oz. That's right on target for twin growth at this stage. The perinatologist said that he'd expect that they'll weigh right about 6 lbs each by next week's delivery day. It is hard to believe that there is already 10.5 lbs of baby in me, and it will probably be 12 lbs by next week. I think if we were able to wait for me to go into labor naturally, I would have a couple 7+ pounders on my hands. Yay! Birth weight is a big deal for all babies, but especially twins. I hope they weigh in above 6 lbs at birth, because that just feels like a good, healthy weight. But at this point, everything is indicating that they will be healthy and strong, regardless of whether they hit that 6 lb. mark or not.

Baby B is now vertex (head-down) but Baby A is still breech, so there is no change in our delivery plans (C-section, Aug 7, 3:30pm). I don't have any more appointments or ultrasounds before the big day, so there's pretty much no turning back now! I can't believe we are going to meet our little girls in less than a week!!!!

My mom (Grandma Grace) is going to arrive on Saturday to help us get ready, to watch Abigail while we are in the hospital, and to help out once we get home. (My dad - Grandpa Peter - can't make it this time, but hopefully he'll get to meet the girls soon. Maybe Thanksgiving?) Then a couple/few weeks later Aaron's parents (Nana and Grandpa Mike) will arrive. Then Aunties Kendra and Kyrstin will come visit in early September. We love our families, and we are so appreciative of them coming to help out and celebrate with us. If we didn't have people coming to help, I think I would be freaking out right now. It's really nice to know we'll have some extra hands around for a while.